David Fincher

Fight Club (1999)

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?  

Narrator: So you can breathe. 

Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows. 

Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory. 

Tyler Durden: Where'd you go, psycho boy 

Narrator: I felt like destroying something beautiful. 

Narrator: Oh, yeah, Chloe... Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everybody.  

Chloe: Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end, and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrite... 

[the group leader takes the mic] Group Leader: Thank you, Chloe... everyone, let's thank Chloe. 

Narrator: [while brutally beating Angel Face] I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

The Social Network (2010)

Mark Zuckerberg: As for any charges stemming from the breach of security, I believe I deserve some recognition from this board. 

Ad Board Chairwoman: I'm sorry? 

Mark Zuckerberg: Yes?  

Ad Board Chairwoman: I don't understand. 

Mark Zuckerberg: Which part?

Erica Albright: You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.  

Erica Albright: [Angry] I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education. 

Mark Zuckerberg: I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even. 

Erica Albright: I think we should just be friends. 

Mark Zuckerberg: I don't want friends.  

Erica Albright: I was just being polite, I have no intention of being friends with you.   

 

Gore Verbinski

Rango (2011)

Rango: Stay in school, eat your veggies, and burn all the books that ain't Shakespeare.  

Spirit of the West: No man can walk out of his own story. 

Rango: [Wounded Bird is scratching his down feathers and scattering them into the wind] I see you're communicating with the great spirits. 

Wounded Bird: No. I'm molting. It means I'm ready to mate.

Alexandre Aja

Haute Tension (2003)

Ruben Fleischer

Zombieland (2009)

Columbus: It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.

Columbus: In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda.  

Columbus: You almost knocked over your alcohol with your knife. 

Tallahassee: ...The day he was born I just lost my mind. 

Bill Murray: Oh, I do it to blend in. You know. Zombies don't mess with other zombies. Buddy of mine, makeup guy, he showed me how to do this. Corn starch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies. Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff. Just played nine holes on the Riviera. Just walked on. Nobody there. 

Columbus: Yeah, I shave every morning but sometimes by like 4:30 I'll have a thing. I mean, I know it's called a five o'clock shadow but sometimes I'll get it prematurely.

Columbus: I've had always my whole life wanted to brush a girl's hair over her ear.

Oren Peli

Paranormal Activity (2007)

Katie: I feel it. I feel it breathing on me. 

Will Gluck

Easy A (2010)

Olive Penderghast: The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. 

Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.  

Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise? 

Mrs. Griffith: [about Micah] He's not the sharpest Christian in the bible.  

Olive Penderghast: [to Evan, about their imaginary trist] I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Preferably to The Gap, but I'd also take Amazon.com, or Office Max. Actually make it Office Max - I have my eye on a label maker. We did not have sex. I let you fondle my chest, and it was a glorious moment for you. Unmatched by anything you have heretofore experienced... including cake. 

 
Rhiannon: Just because you lost your virginity doesn't mean you can go around throwing your cat at everybody 

Olive Penderghast: Do you have a religion section? 

Bookstore guy: It's right over there. Can I help you with something?  

Olive Penderghast: The Bible. 

Bookstore guy: That's in bestsellers, right next to Twilight. 

Dreamworks

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

Hiccup: Thank you for the breast-hat. 

Astrid: [Referring to Toothless] I bet he's really frightened right now... what are you gonna do about it?  

Hiccup: Ehhh... probably something stupid. 

Astrid: Good, but you've already done that.  

Hiccup: Then something crazy...!  

Astrid: That's more like it!